Thursday, August 5, 2010


i always put up a brave front, but actually i had been thinking about it over and over again almost everyday.
i could even cry suddenly when im outside with him sometimes.
and that is so bloody lame.
i might seem over-reacting, petty, rude, and unreasonable.
im down cause i cared about them too much, but they doesnt know.
im down cause i had been to sch for 3 months already, but they doesnt know when is the exact date.
im down cause we seemed uninvited most of the times, and i feel as if im begging them to ask us out.
im down cause she doesnt like my bf, only.
im down cause i cant always make two sides happy, end up i have to swallow unhappiness in silence.
im down cause i had to accept such facts, knowing i cant change anything.
im down cause i experienced reality.
"u and us, u and bf, are two different things, the most important is that he loves u, not whether we like him a not."
i went home and ponder about that statement for very long of time and even though i know it make sense, but i still dont feel quite comfortable about it.
however im not going to be so pessimistic or else someone would gonna say me keep thinking things in a negative way.
so im just gonna be positive now, and should agree to that statement.
im learning to adopt a totally new perspective now, and need some time too.
i feel different, i dont know its a good or bad way.
but im still me, and that will never change.